So, I originally wasn't going to mention this to anyone except Soo, but... I wanted to be truthful. Not just to my friends, but to all of the other hippies, people suffering from hip problems, out there.
I am terrified.
Don't get me wrong! I'm so happy that I'm finally getting this surgery done! And I'm know things will get better. But it is SO daunting to know that I'm going to have at least 4-6 months of recovery in front of me. And before that I have to go into surgery and then deal with days and weeks of pain.
At this point though, the thing that terrifies me the most is the surgery. The surgery and staying in the hospital. There is a chance the surgeon will do the scope and find out that there is more damage than originally thought, and that terrifies me. Because more damage means a longer recovery time. More damage means more pain. And more damage means a longer surgery. I've had surgery before (wisdom teeth removal and gall bladder removal), but for some reason this surgery just has me freaked out.
Then the recovery in the hospital... I'm actually relieved I'm gonna be in the hospital following the surgery, because that means they'll be able to deal with any complications and the pain medicine will be SO much better (I hope ^^). But they don't know if I'll be there for 3 or 4 days AND they didn't tell me if that "3 or 4 days" schedule is including my pre-op check-in day or not. So I'll be out of the hospital either on the 23, 24, 25, or 26th... I kind of hate that uncertainty.
Last is the recovery. I've just read so many horror stories... So many horror stories, that I don't even want to go into that or let my mind think of it.
And now that I've written all of that down, I feel like an idiot >< I don't know why I'm so terrified, but I actually ended up crying last night because I was so afraid. I feel like a child, and I hate it... I guess it's time to get up, put on my big girl panties, and just keep going. Because it's happening, I'm happy it's happening, and being afraid isn't going to help at all.
I am terrified.
Don't get me wrong! I'm so happy that I'm finally getting this surgery done! And I'm know things will get better. But it is SO daunting to know that I'm going to have at least 4-6 months of recovery in front of me. And before that I have to go into surgery and then deal with days and weeks of pain.
At this point though, the thing that terrifies me the most is the surgery. The surgery and staying in the hospital. There is a chance the surgeon will do the scope and find out that there is more damage than originally thought, and that terrifies me. Because more damage means a longer recovery time. More damage means more pain. And more damage means a longer surgery. I've had surgery before (wisdom teeth removal and gall bladder removal), but for some reason this surgery just has me freaked out.
Then the recovery in the hospital... I'm actually relieved I'm gonna be in the hospital following the surgery, because that means they'll be able to deal with any complications and the pain medicine will be SO much better (I hope ^^). But they don't know if I'll be there for 3 or 4 days AND they didn't tell me if that "3 or 4 days" schedule is including my pre-op check-in day or not. So I'll be out of the hospital either on the 23, 24, 25, or 26th... I kind of hate that uncertainty.
Last is the recovery. I've just read so many horror stories... So many horror stories, that I don't even want to go into that or let my mind think of it.
And now that I've written all of that down, I feel like an idiot >< I don't know why I'm so terrified, but I actually ended up crying last night because I was so afraid. I feel like a child, and I hate it... I guess it's time to get up, put on my big girl panties, and just keep going. Because it's happening, I'm happy it's happening, and being afraid isn't going to help at all.
You're going to be just fine, friend. I know surgery can be scary, but you'll get through it all like a champ, no doubts about it. And don't think twice about venting, listening is what friends do, and we'll all be here to encourage you when you need it. You got this!
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