Getting Married in South Korea

Well, as many of you probably know by now, I am happy to announce that according to the law, Soo and I are officially married!!!

Traditional Wedding Hanboks... that we got to try on because I'm a foreigner :)

We still don't live together and I don't think I'm going to really "feel" married until after the wedding, lol. But it happened! And you know what? It was really stressful. It was actually difficult to find information. Technically they had it online on the US embassy website, but if you have lived in Korea for any amount of time, you know that what it says online, even on government websites, isn't always what is true. So! I decided to write up a post about the process we had to go through to get our wedding license.

6am and here... we.... go!

Step 1- Embassy Visit
As an American citizen, you are required to make an appointment and visit the US Embassy in Seoul in order to get your "Affidavit of Eligibility of Marriage", which basically says you aren't married to anyone. You have to make an appointment, which can be hard since their open hours are so short >< When you go to your appointment, you can bring your future significant other with you. We were worried only I could go in, but Soo came with me and we were both allowed in.

If you have never been to the embassy, the entrance to the embassy is on the side. Also, don't be worried about all of the Korean police officers around. ((Side Note- pay attention to what you can and cannot bring. We forgot that you cannot bring cameras and Soo had to run back to the station to put it in a locker)) Once you get inside, you have to wait till its your turn, then they give you the Affidavit to fill out. They'll ask for your address and you can put your Korean address, but you should put your permanent American address if you have one. When it is filled, you give it to the person at the counter, go and pay, then wait for them to call you to a side window. There you meet someone who makes you swear that you aren't married, and BAM! Affidavit acquired!!

First second we realized - Ohemgee, we got it?

Seconds later- YES~ THE AFFIDAVIT IS IN OUR HANDS!

Step 2- Translation
Next, you have to get the Affidavit translated into Korean. The awesome thing about this is that your soon-to-be-spouse can be the "translator" AND there is an amazing person out there (a Korean girl who married an American guy) who went ahead and made the translated document into a pdf! All you have to do is download it, fill it out, and sign! Make sure you fill it out in Korean! That includes your name and everything. It all needs to be in Korean. I've included a link to the lady's webpage here. Basically everything you filled in on the English document gets filled in on the Korean document, then your significant other can sign as the translator!

My adorable translator at work <3

Step 3- District Office

This was actually the hardest part of the whole thing. You can luckily go to any district office (구청) to do this. At first, someone told us we had to go to Soo's hometown to turn in our paper work -_- Yeah, not happening. Luckily, we found out they were wrong, so we went to the Jongro District Office. Please, please, PLEASE call before and ask them what you need to bring in. Each district office's staff is different. Some require extra forms, others don't care and don't want them, and some even want pictures to prove you have been dating. It really is best just to call and ask before.

Last stop- District office, aka the Gucheong or 구청

One thing that is the same everywhere- You have to fill out a form at the office which needs 2 witnesses's signatures. Soo had 2 friends sign it for us while he filled out a lot at home. Some places are okay with this, some need to see the witnesses sign. Again, call to make sure.

Now unfortunately, we had a lot to fix on the form. Your name needs to be in Hangul, not English, and it HAS to be Last Name First Name Middle Name. Also, you need to have your parents names, in Hangul, as well, Last First Middle, and their birth dates. Actually, the website I mentioned before explains a lot of it. Just visit here. It's in Korean and the form is explained as though the wife is Korean and husband is American, but it's the same general principle.

Step 4- Celebrate
If you're really lucky, the place you visit will have a little cultural photobooth thing! Jungro District Office has one, but they only let people take pictures on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Lucky us, we were there on a Tuesday ^^ So once we had turned in all the paperwork, we were able to take some cute pictures. A nice little way to celebrate and commemorate the day! After that, we had lunch at Outback to also celebrate <3 A very nice way to finish a slightly stressful, but amazing, morning.

The nice lady taking out picture caught him looking at me and... my heart melts every time I see this picture

Step 5- Pick-up Marriage License
We actually got the call either the next day or the day after saying that everything was finalized and good to go! Apparently we could pick up our marriage license any time! Soo went and picked up our marriage license on February 9th and... ta-da!

FA-DA! Happiness in the form of a sheet of paper from the government ^^

So all in all, the "marriage" part is over! It was a lot less painful and stressful than I thought, but I'm glad we got it over with. The "wedding" part is in the works. But next stop (in March) is- THE DREADED F-6 VISA!!

Wedding planning, wheeee!

So, it is finally here!!! It is now officially 2017 and that means... WE ARE GETTING MARRIED!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! I don't know about Soo but... I am freaking out a little. It seems like just yesterday we were getting to know each other, and now we are spending time talking about wedding details and getting a house and signing our marriage license and everything.

It is actually through this time that Soo and I realized there is not a lot of help for people like us online. Luckily, we have found one or two sources, but only after searching A LOT. So I am going to try and make informative posts (as well as emotional posts like this one) about all of the things we need to do and go through in order to actually get married.

However, this is not that kind of post.

Instead.... OMG WEDDING!!! Soo and I have been working on wedding stuff a lot, but my mom Jenny, Brittany, Melinda, Katie, Britt P. and Sofi have helped me so much <3 From little things like just talking things over with me, to helping me find hairstyles or hotels, I honestly don't think I'd have nearly as much done without them <3

At this point, we've sent out invitations, booked the ceremony and reception site plus catering and open bar, found a hotel for the night before, are currently working out a hotel block, and picked our bridal parties. Luckily, Carnival is one of those "All-in-One" deals. We booked last year, before they made a BUNCH of changes. These days, they have "Tiers" for a shipboard wedding. You can choose either hors d'oeuvres or a luncheon and what type of bar you want. Each of those options have Tiers, with Tier 1 usually being the cheapest with the fewest options and Tier 3 being the most expensive with the best options. This is a link to their current wedding options. Honestly, I'm really, REALLY glad we booked before this went into place, because while it is a bit more personalize-able, our package was much cheaper.

However, when we booked, we booked with the "Time to Celebrate... BIG" package, which they no longer offer. (Note to self: Call Carnival and make sure they are going to honor what our package comes with > <). It comes with  1.5 hours of an open bar and hot & cold hors d'oeuvres (which are already picked), a tiered wedding cake (number of tiers depends on number of guests), ice carving, champagne toast, special flutes for us, and a few other things. We added on to that by hiring a DJ for the 1.5 hour reception as well and a buffet lunch for all guests, sailing and non-sailing, before the wedding starts. So happy that I found a place that has so much included ^^

Right now we are looking into more ways to personalize our wedding, such as wedding favors, aisle runner, flowers, etc. I thought I would hate this part, but these days I actually kind of like it. Of course that is probably because...

I TOTALLY FOUND MY DRESS!!!!!! Yes, I found THE dress, MY dress, the most amazing and perfect dress ever!

But I won't tell you about it today! That is for another day. Details to come ^^ lol

Until then, ta! 안녕!

Cruise Wedding Expenses (so far ㅠ_ㅠ)

It's been about 2 months since I last blogged, but I figured with everything we did (or didn't do lol) yesterday, today would be a good day to blog about our wedding!

We have a little over a year until the US wedding, and Soo and I have already got some money saved up. For now, we are just trying to take it one step at a time. Why? Because this isn't just a normal wedding, we want to try and celebrate both of our cultures, plus, eventually, have a wedding in Korea as well.

So here is what we've come up with as our "list of stuff": Besides the normal stuff you need for a wedding (you know, the dress, the food, the invitations, save the dates, etc), we have to save for our hanboks (traditional Korean attire), a wedding here in Korea (sometime in the future), the money for the cruise, the money for upgrades to the wedding package, my plane ticket to the US for wedding dress shopping (and hopefully a ticket for him so we can buy our wedding bands), and, finally, our plane tickets to and from the US for the actual wedding.

I know I am probably missing something, but I can't remember right now.

Luckily for us, we are having a cruise wedding!!! And actually, a Carnival Cruise wedding is not that expensive. Probably because Carnival is considered the cheapest cruise line ^^;;;

Me + Soo in 490 days

But I've sailed with them 3 times and each time has been pretty great. Of course, I've looked over our budget once or twice, including everything from travel cost to getting my hair done and it looks like we'll be hovering at right over $10,000... And let me tell you, this number gives me a heart attack every time I look at it to be honest. I know most weddings cost around that these days but... holy moly that's a lot of money!!!

So what have we been doing? We've been looking into ways to cut it down. First, we won't have to deal with the whole marriage license in the US thing since we are going to get that taken care of here. It is much cheaper and MUCH less of a hassle.  Also, we are trying to decide if we're going to do the 1 hour reception instead of 1 1/2 hour. It's about $200 cheaper, plus the cost of food per person is cheaper (by $8/person) and the DJ (which isn't included in the original price) is about $50 cheaper too. However...... we still have until May to decide which we will go with ^^;;; So we're flip flopping at this point.

You see, the way Carnival does their weddings is they have these packages you can choose from. The ones we are looking for both include:

• Personal Wedding Planner who helps with planning everything on board the ship (doesn't include flowers or aisle runner, those come through a different company).
• Priority VIP check-in and boarding for wedding couple and guests (which means we get to check in early! Woooo~~) and a secluded waiting area at check-in.
• Private wedding ceremony location (inside, they don't do deck wedding on Carnival... probably for the better because knowing my luck the wind would be horrible or I'd be attacked by sea gulls or my MoH would decided jumping ship wasn't such a bad idea).
• Ceremony performed by a wedding officiant (OR I can provide one myself which... I really want to do because I have someone in mind I just have to figure out the details on that ^^)
• Assistance by a wedding coordinator to escort wedding couple to their stateroom upon clearance and oversee guests needs during their wedding ceremony.
• A beautiful setting- aisle runner, columns, and silk floral arrangements (all done through an outside company depending on the port, and all upgrade-able for an extra fee of course)
• Recorded ceremony music.
• Bouquet (8 ifovry roses hand-tied) and matching Boutonniere (also upgrade-able for an extra fee)
• Tiered wedding cake and keepsake cake topper (also what? Upgrade-able for a fee! Yay!)
• Cake cutting service and champagne toast with keepsake etched carnival champagne flutes for the wedding couple.
• Coffee/ Tea Service
• Photography service at the ceremony and reception (Photographs are extra ><)
• A bottle of sparkling wine and chocolate-dipped strawberries for the wedding couple's stateroom after the celebration.

Not bad, right? This is how they differ:

• $1795
• 1 hour Celebration Open Bar with hot and cold hors d'ouerves
• $$ per person for over 20 people
• $1975
• 1 hour 30 minutes Celebration Open Bar with hot and cold hors d'ouevres
• Ice Carving
• $$+$8 per person for over 20 people

That's it! But like I mentioned, the DJ is more expensive for 1.5 hours versus 1 hour and any add-on will up the price. And one of the downsides? You have to pay that amount I mentioned up front. So all $1795 or $1975 is due at the beginning. :'( And once you put it down, you can't change. Luckily, like I mentioned, we have until May, so we will make sure we come to a decision by them.

One of the things bringing our price up is actually the pictures. I've seen both good and bad pictures from Carnival Weddings. It seems to really depend on who your photographer is and, unfortunately, you don't get to pick or meet them at all until day of. And I'm terribly afraid that the pictures from the cruise are going to be horrible. So! I think we might get pictures taken while in Richmond Hill before the wedding. Of course, then we have to worry about Soo's suit and renting it for a week or two OR renting a suit just for those pictures and then another suit for the cruise, but that is a decision for a later time also. This way we can get amazing pictures in amazing places and a few from the actual wedding. More money, yes, but I think the results will be better <3

Last thing: I've had a few people ask me why we're not going with a bigger, more expensive cruise line for the wedding. There are 3 main reasons. 

1. I want this to be affordable to as many people as possible. Most of my friends can afford a Carnival Cruise plus plane tickets to Florida. Not many could afford the more expensive cruise lines. 

2. I actually really like Carnival. I know some people don't, but like I said, I've never had a horrible cruise.

3. Over the past 4 months I've spent about 3 hours on the phone with Carnival people and I have not had a bad experience yet ^^ They've not only been helpful, they've gone above and beyond. At one point, I had a lady looking at stuff only employees can see to tell me about cruises next summer since I was so worried about the wedding date. I've also had them put me in touch with the people who do the flowers & arrangements & such since I was curious about options and pricing for that. 

So.... yes! I think that covers just about everything for today! I've already got another blog started about the other really big thing that we did yesterday, but I need to do a little more research and get some better pictures before I post it. And (hopefully) having another blog waiting to be finished will give me more incentive to update quicker lol. (Oh, and sorry for only 1 pretty picture this time... There will be more next time I promise!)

We're Engaged!! ... OH GOODNIGHT WHAT DO WE DO NEXT?!?!

Instead of writing another post about how I'm totally gonna start writing again... and then never write after that, I'm just going to jump straight into things.

So, I'm actually 30 years old in Korea now and I'm officially engaged!!!! I've been around the block and been in my fair share of weddings (4 as an adult and a couple as a flower girl), so I thought "What the heck, it shouldn't be too hard to do this wedding thing".

I WAS SO WRONG!!!

Soo and I are actually taking an easier route then most. We have decided to get married on a Carnival Cruise!!! I thought "Yay! Most of my decisions are already made!"

I WAS SO WRONG!!! ... AGAIN!!! So. Many. Decisions. At this point in our wedding journey, we have booked our cruise and... that is it. But step 1 (and decision 1) is done!!!

Speaking of steps!! We are now on step 2 or 3- Book the wedding (we have to put down the full payment at the time we book the wedding portion of the cruise) and send out Save The Dates. Still have to wait a bit before we can book the wedding, so now we have mainly been working on save the dates. I've been waffling back and forth between making them and ordering them. Making them would be cheaper but it requires some degree of creativity. Sewing? Check. Adjusting a sewing pattern? Double check. Making a save-the-date? Ummmmmm, no.

I've been scavenging the far reaches of the internet looking for ideas and templates, and have a few ideas so far! But I also have 2 problems: 1) none of them are exactly what I was looking for and 2) Soo and I really want to work on this stuff together, but can't since he is still at his parent's house. Fingers crossed that we get a chance to skype or facetime soon and get something hammered down ^^

The New Apartment

So last we left our intrepid heros, aka Soo and myself, we had just arrived at my new place.

We couldn't see much of the outside area since it was dark by that time, but we managed to use the codes given to me to get inside, and that is what mattered. And yes, I did say codes! My building has absolutely no keys for the doors. There is a code to get into the front door, then each apartment has an electronic keypad door lock. I had always thought about how awesome it would be to have one of those instead of having to lug around keys everywhere, but the code on my door is 8 digits long and... I'll admit, I'm having some trouble remembering it and have to look at the email sent to me every time I want to get in. But have no fear! I'm sure I'll have it memorized.... one day.

Then viola! I opened the door and was greeted with an amazing new apartment! It is a little smaller than my last one, but bigger than my first. It has nice wooden floors that can be heated in the winter, a ceiling to floor wardrobe with a ton of space inside, plus two desks and a vanity desk. I think the girl who lived here before me was very much into making sure she looked her best.

What I'd really like to do is get a bookcase and get rid of the glass desk or the vanity, but since the furniture came with the apartment, I don't know if that is possible, But luckily, I do have some great storage space (kind of).

I have a very large wash room with a nice dryer, a window outside, and a nice wire storage shelving unit. I figure I can put the vanity in there if worse comes to worse, but we will see how things go.

The bed is also nice-ish. It could use a mattress pad, but it has a pillow AND a little bit of space under the bed for storage, which is nice. And if I can't get rid of one of vanity, there is the perfect amount of space for a bookcase at the foot of the bed.

And then the bathroom! Oh, the bathroom... it's nice guys. I have a little medicine cabinet, a huge mirror, and the shower? 2, count them TWO, shower heads... ONE OF WHICH IS A WATERFALL SHOWER HEAD!!! I have always, always, ALWAYS loved those and wanted one in my apartment. And now? I have one! I need to buy another corner shower shelf thingie, but besides that, the bathroom is basically perfect.

The one biggest let down is the kitchen. It's nice because I have a full sized fridge, but the set up kinda stinks because my front door is RIGHT in the middle of things. And I've got a tiny, TINY space for prep between the stove and the sink. But the sink is big and the stove has 3 burners, so I can't really complain too much.

And there you have it! My apartment, pre-unpacking, pre-decorations, pre-everything. Hopefully in the next few weeks I will post an update with decorations, new things, etc. so... stay tuned I guess?

Back in Korea!

It has been a whirlwind few weeks. After Soo arrived in the US, time seemed to fly and there never seemed to be enough hours in the day. I currently have 1 or 2 blog posts lined up talking about what we did and what we saw, as well as 1 from before he arrived, but I didn't have a chance to actually finish them before now.

So! The plan is to work on those posts and randomly get them uploaded while also posting about my new apartment, new city, new job, and other things I've had on my mind. Looks like I'm going to be busy! Yay!!

I should probably apologize right away, since I am writing this while jet lag is still kicking my butt and I have no idea if it will make sense or not ^^;;

Soo and I started the 24+ hour trip by leaving Melinda's apartment at 7am EST (8pm KST) on Wednesday. After a quick stop at the car rental center of the airport, we were ready to check in and really get started on our trip. The day was saved when Melinda let me borrow a laptop bag, since my backpack was a little overweight for a carryon with my laptop inside of it. Of course, one of my checked bags was also over weight (limit is 50 and mine was 51), but the nice man checking us in didn't say anything and, taking my cue from him, I didn't say anything either. Yay nice people!!

Cuz we all look adorable and sleepy together!

Next up was a nice breakfast at IHOP, aka the first place Soo ate in the US, with Melinda. And before we knew it, it was time to go through security. Both Melinda and I managed to keep it together until we were no longer within eyesight but... it wasn't easy and it wasn't pretty. Luckily, I had the joy of security to deal with after that!

Smiling was tough, not gonna lie, so we settled with a sneaky pic from her and sad duck face from me ^^

Long story short, we got on the flight to Detroit, but not after switching seats because our original seats had been changed (something about having to get a different aircraft so the seat numbers were changed for some people). Also, I was able to check one of my carry-ons, a silver roller suitcase, for free since it was a full flight, and they put a tag on it so it would go all the way to Incheon. In Detroit we had just enough time to eat a quick lunch (Popeyes chicken... not that yummy I am sad to say), before getting on the very big, very full, and very long flight to Korea. Which, by the way, was not uneventful. We had a total of 2 medical problems that required doctors that were luckily on the plane to be brought back to our area. 1 time was a woman who was having breathing problems (she was picked up and taken to the back of the plane and given oxygen and some medicine, but was better within an hour and back in her seat) and the 2nd time was when someone was unable to wake up an older lady 10 rows in front of us. Luckily both were fine and the flight continued like normal.

The first of MANY airport adventures we will have together <3

After we landed, we went through security and got our bags. Soo managed to talk to the phone company and get my phone turned back on too, which was really awesome and made me feel so much better! Then, as soon as we walked through the doors to the waiting area, we were met by the driver hired by the recruiter I used and he loaded us into the car and away we went! 1.5 hours later, we were at my new place!

And... that is where I think I am going to leave you for now. It's around 12:30am here in Korea and I am trying to get my sleep schedule back on point, which means I should pass out soon. I've already taken pictures and started to decorate, so I hope to have that post finished before the weekend is over!

So happy I got to spend so much time in the US, that I got to see so many friends and family members that I had missed, and so happy that Soo got to meet so many people. But I am also happy to be back in Korea in a new apartment with a new job just around the corner!

Lots and lots of love to everyone!

Culture Shock vs Reverse Culture Shock

One thing I have had many, many people ask me about is culture shock. For anyone curious, culture shock is:

1. ... the personal disorientation a person may feel when experiencing an unfamiliar way of life due to immigration or a visit to a new country, a move between social environments, or simply travel to another type of life. [Thank you wikipedia!]

Funnily enough, I didn't really experience jolting, horrible culture shock. I think most people that I know who traveled to Korea also didn't experience a huge bout of culture shock. Why? Thanks to how connected we all are in this wonderful day and age of the internet, it's fairly easy to find out exactly what to expect when traveling to a new country. There are many different blogs and websites that tell you what others experienced, the differences in culture, in what is expected and okay, etc. And it's that knowledge that helps keep most people from experiencing frustrating, or even debilitating, culture shock. 

Of course, I had the added little incentive that many girls, and even some guys, who visit Korea have: the love of Kpop and Kdramas. Yup, if you know me, you know just how guilty I am of loving most things that come from the Korean Entertainment industry. Korean songs, Korean TV programs, Korean dramas... Mind you, I also love American TV shows, British TV shows, American songs, Japanese Songs, a few French pop songs, etc. But the fact that I was extremely excited about traveling to Korea to work also made the experience that much easier for me.

Now that is not to say that I didn't experience some culture shock, because I did. I distinctly remember one evening, I got into a taxi to go home from downtown. It was after I had been in Daegu around 9 months, so I knew enough Korean at that point to tell him how to get to my place, but he didn't understand me. When he finally did, he muttered in Korean the entire drive and was very discourteous. Within that next week, I had another taxi driver do almost the exact same thing, except that this one actually took me to the wrong station. I said Banwoldang, but he heard Beomeodang. Well, actually, he asked me 4 times where I was going. I said "beonwoldong" the first time by accident, then I said it the correct way 3 times after that. He then repeated it to me, but he had a very thick accent and it was difficult to understand him. I tried showing him my phone, but he waved it away and repeated again. It sounded like "beomwolddong" and I finally just said yes. Well, we arrived at the wrong place and he got pissed at me and turned off the meter before driving me to the correct place and charging me about double what it should have cost. Needless to say, by the end of that ride, all I could think was how much I wished I was back in the US with people I could communicate with easily. But within 24 hours, I was back to loving where I was living and the culture shock was over and done with. So I guess the main culture shock I had: lack of ability to communicate.

Fast forward to May of 2015. After 2 years in Korea, I came back to the US for the summer and the thing that hit me hardest? Reverse Culture Shock. "But Nicole!" you say. "There's no such thing! How could you have culture shock by coming home to your native country?!" Eee! Wrong. Reverse culture shock is a real thing, especially for people who live outside of their home country for an extended period of time. And after 2 years away, I had managed to unremember all of the bad things about the US and had gotten so used to the way things were in Korea that it was a genuine shock, and sometimes extremely frustrating, to find it was different in the US. I've encountered a handful of things actually, but there are 3 main ones that have stuck out like sore thumbs to me.

1. Rudeness/ Selfishness- I don't mean everyone is extremely rude and selfish. In fact, it was something I was kind of expecting. In Korea, everyone is extremely respectful of others, even if they hate your guts. If someone in customer service isn't polite and helpful, that is instant grounds for dismissal from their job. In schools, students generally aren't disrespectful to their teachers. Yes, it happens, but on a far smaller scale than schools in the US. Now, the thing that finally pushed me to frustration was Universal Studios. Being around all of those people who were pushing and shoving and not being away of who or what was around them... It finally got to me.
2. Catcalling- Do I really need to explain this one? Walked around downtown Atlanta for a total of 5 minutes and got catcalled. Walked around downtown Daegu and downtown Seoul numerous times, sometimes past 1am, without a single catcall. I know catcalling isn't something that is high on other people's list, but I absolutely hate it. The End.
3. Portion sizes- This one is strange, I know. I was raised on the phrase "Clean your plate". If you didn't, you had to sit there at the dinner table until bedtime. It's a good rule for picky eaters, but a bad rule when you just honestly aren't hungry (but people think you're a picky eater). So I've always had a problem consciously leaving food on my plate. Then I went to Korea and... it was amazing. The portion sizes are usually SO much smaller than in the States! Plus they serve side dishes before every meal. Yummy, usually pretty good for you, side dishes that help fill you up. Side dishes + smaller portion sizes? Easier to diet/ lose weight = good deal for me! No pre-meal side dishes + larger portion sizes? Harder to diet = gain back weight I had lost in Korean.

Wow, so I just realized how long this is, and I am SO sorry. But if you've made it all the way to the end here then... congrats!!

In conclusion-
Yes, I suffered from a tiny bit of culture shock, mainly from the inability to communicate, but mostly I suffered reverse culture shock when I got home. The way people treat others, the way some people can be extremely rude, selfish, and pushy, the catcalling, feeling unsafe walking outside by yourself, and, surprisingly enough, the larger portion sizes all made it very difficult to adjust to being back in the states. So if you ever have someone coming back to the US after living overseas for more than a year, be prepared for them to talk about how different it is from when they left, talk about how different it is from the country they just came from, and have a hard time in certain situations that would have been normal before they left.